Over the years we had built the classic life of a middle-class family. My husband worked well over 40 hours a week in sales. Permanently employed. On the side he was building his own business. I took care of the kids, the household and all the appointments – while working a few hours as a social pedagogue. Our days were scheduled down to the last detail: work, school, kindergarten, household. Seeing friends, time for us as a couple or even for ourselves got harder and harder. We got help from family for two days every few weeks. We were wearing ourselves out for a life we believed was just how life is lived. What was left for us as a family was a quick "good morning" and a tired "good night". "How do they do it?", I asked myself every time I watched the well-organized model mums in our neighbourhood who seemed to have everything under control. At that time I felt like the black sheep of the herd. Completely alone with my wish for real connection. For people who questioned life in a similar way and wanted to live freely and connected with their kids.

"It can't go on like this!", I thought. And that's how our plan was born: one year out. Hoping to save our marriage from falling apart and both of us from burnout.

From the outside everything looked perfect: I had a wife, two little daughters and a safe job that was enough to support our family. Even back then I had a strong need for autonomy. One reason why I built a side business as a freelancer and speaker in social media management and performance marketing. It went better than expected and I made a name for myself in the industry. But behind the facade of appointments, obligations and consumption lurked a bitter truth: exhaustion, overwhelm and the nagging feeling of just functioning. The connection with my daughters was fleeting. A few minutes in the morning and a goodnight kiss in the evening. At the weekend we desperately tried to catch up on what fell by the wayside during the week: closeness, deep conversations and more time as a family. In the end, in 2017 our marriage started to falter because something crucial was missing: Life itself. Then we started to question the social corset of separate family lives, constant overwhelm, trading lifetime for money and high tax obligations. Around that time we first came across YouTube videos of families who travelled permanently. "A free life, far away from the daily grind, is possible!!", a small ray of hope when, after a few hours of research, we discovered a family camp for long-term travellers in Thailand. While still working my full-time job, I took unpaid leave in January 2018 to travel to Asia with my family.

The decision was made. We wanted out. But there was still this one big question: What about compulsory schooling? So I started researching and talking to the school. "How can this be?", I wondered, because the headteacher couldn't give me a clear answer to my questions about school exemption. So over several weeks I had many more conversations with the school authority and other offices, which in the end went all the way up to the state government. And finally I found a way to exempt my kids from compulsory schooling for one year. But the next big effort was already waiting… Giving up the apartment. Radically reducing our belongings. And organizing the trip. We started out with a caravan to drive down the Balkan route first. After a few months of travelling we decided to sell the car and caravan. And to fly to a family camp for long-term travellers in Thailand with just our backpacks.

And that's exactly where everything was about to change…

Shortly after we landed in Thailand, we separated. It just didn't work anymore. Our hopes were shattered. Still, we stuck to our plan to go to the family camp. And that was the best decision.

January 2018 Family camp on Koh Phangan Between campfires, women's and men's circles, open conversations and kids running barefoot through the resort, we felt a deep sense of belonging for the first time. We met people who lived differently, thought differently and carried similar longings. It was in this cocktail of euphoria, depth and belonging that we (Kirstin and Martin) met. It was an encounter like many others there: friendly, open, respectful. This intense time in Thailand was a turning point. We arrived as strangers and left with friendships that are still deep today (even if we sometimes don't see each other in person for a long time). Suddenly we had experienced that there can be a community that carries you – beyond origin, performance and social expectations. It showed us: A different life is possible.

While still in Thailand we gave notice on our apartment. Back in Germany we had only three months to clear out our entire household. (Waaay too little time...we don't recommend that to anyone!) We wanted to travel Europe in a motorhome first. So I got my truck licence. We sorted things out until the very last day. We sold, gave away and threw out everything we no longer needed. That time was super stressful, because we simply started reducing our belongings too late. I can still feel that lightness and freedom when I turned the key of the motorhome and just drove off – knowing that I no longer had an apartment, a fixed address or any belongings. We drove to Italy, Spain, France, Belgium and the Netherlands. We travelled through Europe for nine months. But we had taken our relationship problems with us. It became clear: if we wanted to survive as a family, we really had to face these issues.

In summer 2019 I returned to Germany with my three kids. After all the months on the road, the separation and the inner upheaval, I needed solid ground under my feet – for me and for the kids. We moved back to my old home region, Thuringia. I enrolled the kids in school again, found an apartment and took a job as a social pedagogue at the same independent school my kids attended. But it didn't take long for reality to catch up with me…

After all those months of lived freedom, connection and self-determination, I felt lonely, stuck and hit hard by the old narrowness and the messed-up value system of many people around me.

The school I worked at quickly disappointed me too. Instead of making room for individuality, every day I saw too many kids in one class and too few staff. There was hardly anyone I could really share my thoughts, values and experiences with.

The conversations revolved around everyday life, curricula, "difficult" kids and grades. Nobody talked about freedom, community or a life beyond the norm. I missed exactly what I had found on the road: connection. Space. Truth. And right at that time, suddenly and completely unexpectedly, Martin wrote to me…

While Kirstin was back in Germany, I lived on Bali. From the outside that sounded like a dream. And in a way it was. But behind the backdrop of rice fields and sunsets, everything was coming to a head. Our relationship was about to end. I could barely work and lost clients. Money got tight. And then came an unexpected tax bill of €11,243. Deadline: 2 months. I knew that if I didn't pay on time, they would freeze my accounts. So I acted...IMMEDIATELY. I won new clients, worked around the clock and put money aside bit by bit. It was a tightrope walk between fear for my livelihood and sheer willpower.

"Phew…made it just in time", I dropped into my chair with relief as I made the last transfer to the tax office right on the deadline. That day I swore to myself: I'll never pay a single cent into this system again. In this turbulent time I got back in touch with Kirstin. We had only seen each other once since 2018 and barely talked. She gave me emotional support when everything else was falling apart. Something more grew between us. The longing to see Kirstin was too strong. So I flew from Bali to Germany to visit her for one weekend.

(I actually spent more hours on the plane than with her in the end)

March 2020 The start of Corona Martin just managed to catch the last flight from Bangkok to Germany before all borders closed and the world held its breath. At home I fell into fear and panic. Schools were closed and suddenly I was alone with three kids, not knowing how I would manage it all. Shortly afterwards I applied again for a one-year school exemption for the kids. I wanted to spare them that completely crazy time of mask mandates, mandatory testing and distancing in public school. And then Martin was at the door. While Martin had built a stable, well-running online business over the years, I took a small online job to stay independent. Together with child benefit and child support it was enough to stand on my own feet financially and take care of my kids. After months of uncertainty we wanted to leave Germany again. This time as a patchwork family of five. So in August 2020, together with friends' families, we decided to move to La Palma.

La Palma was a fresh start. We lived in community, the kids played outside, the sun was shining and for the first time in a long while everyday life felt light. No alarm clock in the morning, but plenty of time for a relaxed breakfast with the kids. When we posted our lifestyle on Instagram, more and more messages suddenly came in from other families following us: "How did you handle compulsory schooling?" "How does child benefit work abroad?" "How did you deregister?" "Where do we start?" We realized there was huge interest in our experiences – and decided to capture our knowledge in a book. That's how "Der ultimative Auswanderer Guide" was born. An e-book (in German) that answers all the questions about compulsory schooling, child benefit, deregistration, taxes and health insurance in a clear, legally sound and practical way. Shortly afterwards we founded Tabula Rasa.

After the volcanic eruption on La Palma, our journey took us on to Thailand, Portugal, Tenerife and finally, in March 2024, to Indonesia. Today we live on Bali. Surrounded by the green expanse of rice fields, the sounds of Hindu ceremonies and lots of time with our kids. What started as a personal longing is now a movement for people who want more freedom, more time together and a life based on their own values. By now we've supported more than 1,000 families on their way abroad. Trained more than 1,800 people in our webinars on school exemption, child benefit, taxes and deregistration. And built a community of more than 27,000 followers on Instagram. We've developed more than 10 digital products, done hundreds of 1:1 consultations and led 10 group coaching programs. Today Tabula Rasa has a team of 8 and an international network of more than 15 experts in taxes, residency and banking.

And everyone has one goal: Guiding families into a free, self-determined life. We believe: you can change anything in your life. Because freedom doesn't start with packing your bags. Freedom starts in your head.

Bold steps,

Kirstin & Martin